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I'm So Sick and Tired!!! Don't worry guys I'm not leaving D-land so when I move to my new diary I will take all of you with me! I'll still be here for all of you do not worry my friends! :) I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. Probably because this is such a scary step, but also because it's a very life altering huge changing step! Leaving most of the shit that has been plauging me for years and even lately! I'm sick and tired of being seen as dissappointing by both my parents and teachers at school now!!! I'm sick of some teachers being assholes! and my teammates kicking me out of the group even though I have been sending information on the project and I have not recieved any sort of contact from them at all!!!! I'm sick and tired of this stupid residence and all the stupid rules!!! I'm sick of being falsely accused my bitch of a past roommate about taking her computer when I did no such thing!! I have heard nothing from anyone for awhile now so I assume it's been resolved! I'm sick of all these stupid nightmares and feelings of being trapped and helpless which are also the main theme of all my nightmares for years!! I'm sick of constantly being pushed down a path that is leading me nowhere!!! I'm sick of people taking advantage of me!! Physically with my vi, and mentally with me doing kind things and never being shown a damn thing in return!!! I'm sick of social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, hospitals, threats of being sent to hospitals, constant nagging to go see medical professionals to talk too, and most of all doctors!!! I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired because of the fucking Effexor!!! I HATE IT!!!! I'm sick of sleeping deeply like I'm in a coma or unconscious for 12-24 hours at a time and feeling like a fucking zombie!!! I'm sick of not being able to focus!!! I'm sick of expectations and making everyone around me happy!!! I'm sick of failing all the time!! I'm sick of being treated like shit and stigmatized because of my vi!!! I'm sick of everyones anger, arrogance, pity, shame, authority, and distrust and disbelief in me!!! I'm sick of everyone saying I'm not trying hard enough or I'm lazy or that they're afraid I'm going to end up like some of my friends doing nothing all day!!! I'm sick of the constant negativity and wrong doings being thrown in my face!!! Why can't I recieve positive encouragement for once???!!! I'm sick of peoples judgements towards me!!! I'm sick of peoples actions of superiority!!! I'm sick of no one understanding me or my needs despite me talking, being blunt about it, or knowing me for a long time that they must get it by now!!! I'm sick of feeling uncared for!!! I'm sick of TTC and public transportation whether accessible or not!!!! I'm sick of TTC in general!!! I'm sick of everyone and everything!!! Good Riddence for awhile!!! P.S. I don't want to leave my family for good. I just want to temporarily be absent until I can get myself on track and then contact them again after that so they can see I'm doing ok without their negativity and interference. Missed These? |
